A Difference in Perception

Kindle or Print

Sometimes, even when you’re telling a story, it makes a difference whether you show or tell. The words the audience or reader receives have quite a different effect.

When the reader is told, she doesn’t form a picture or experience an emotion. She accepts the idea and moves on to the next idea. Here’s an example, rephrased from the real book as telling.

Abby heard footsteps but she didn’t see anyone.  She stopped. So did the footsteps. “Who’s there?” No one answered. She was scared. Her dog growled. Abby tried to open the door but it was locked.

Showing takes more words. There the writer or storyteller has to create a scene for the reader to see and experience along with the character. Here’s the same excerpt as Polly Iyer wrote it in her suspense novel, InSight.

She stopped. So did the footsteps. “Who’s there?” Still no answer. Why isn’t someone answering? The hairs on her arms stood erect, charged with electricity. She possessed an uncanny ability to feel another presence, as if all her nerve endings put out tiny sensors. Someone prowled the hall. Daisy emitted a low growl from the back of her throat. Pulse racing, Abby hurried to the side door and pushed against it. Locked. This door was never locked from the inside.

See the difference? Polly isn’t telling you how Abby felt, she’s showing you. You can feel the fear with Abby when the hairs raise, when her pulse races. You can push the door with her and find it doesn’t open.

Here’s an example from Cold Comfort, my suspense novel. I could have said Claire was exhausted and took a pain pill, but I wanted to create a picture.

The men continued to talk. Claire leaned against the car, imagining herself sliding off the fender like spaghetti off a plate, congealing into a lump on the ground. Those little white pills, on top of everything else, packed a wallop. The men droned on.

There are times when telling is the better choice. If it’s on something that isn’t important to the story, or it’s just a nice little vignette that doesn’t go anywhere, it may be better to tell it quickly and move on to something that moves the story forward.

How about you? Do you see the difference? Do the examples that show bring the scenes to life? How do you feel about it?  

When does Stubborn Turn into Stupid?

At Amazon - soon to be in print

My friend Polly Iyer, author of four terrific suspense (with romantic elements :-) novels, is my guest today.

Some of you may have heard me say this before—I’ve been vocal enough in my frustration—but those “brilliant” techies who designed Word 2010 can only be described as sadists. I’ve just finished formatting three books for CreateSpace. I had help from my blog host—yes you, Ellis—who sat down with me in a restaurant halfway between our houses and showed me how to format the first book, step by step. We switched to Word 2003, a much more user-friendly program, because even a seasoned tech writer like Ellis thinks Word 2010 sucks. My lesson went well, one book done, so off I went to do book two. Easy, peasy, right?

Um, not when I got home. I resisted throwing the computer out the window at least a dozen times, but because I have a major character flaw called persistence, I forged ahead. (Okay, I sent the file to Ellis a couple of times to straighten out the section breaks and the pages. I admit it.) But I had another problem. My Photoshop program is on the computer with Word 2010, so I have to send the file to CreateSpace from that computer. Surprisingly, and after a lot of hair-pulling, I got the second book finished in Word 2003 on one computer and sent it to myself to open on the other. The formatting held.

Sound effects—heavenly music from above.

At Amazon - soon to be in print

I’m feeling good. Two books done. I sent them off. Proofs looked good, so I ordered a couple of each. I went through the whole process, clicked on Confirm Order. REJECTED. CreateSpace wouldn’t take my credit card. Huh? This is the same credit card they accepted three weeks before for my first sample. Same credit card that Amazon takes all the time.

I thought it might be Firefox, so I ran it through on Explorer. Same thing. Rejected. I called my credit card company. (They love me, by the way. I really don’t know why. I never pay a finance charge. But I digress.) So I went back to CreateSpace. They said it was my CVV code. Same code I used three weeks before. I told them I’ve never had so much trouble trying to give a company my money. They assured me they wanted my money.

We had a long telephone conversation. The customer service representative had a lovely, lilting English/Indian accent. I understood her. She understood me. She contacted the tech people while I was on the phone. She was really trying to help. They insisted it was my CVV code. I insisted it wasn’t. She said they’d get back to me.

So I worked on book three.

I don’t consider myself totally tech challenged; in fact, I’m really not bad for an old broad learning new tricks. I even do my own book covers on Photoshop, do my own website. But every time I thought I had the third book finished—this in Word 2003—I scrolled up and there were headings where they shouldn’t be, numbers on another line, pages disappearing when I scrolled—seriously. I thought I was seeing things. Now you see it, now you don’t.

Did that stop me from torturing myself? Not even close. I got what I thought was a good document, sent it to CS. Their proof looked a mess. Backward, in fact. Enough of Word, back to the sample books. I called CreateSpace again. Another lovely service rep. The credit card validating company is closed until Monday. She will get back to me. Meanwhile, she’s sending my samples free of charge. I didn’t argue.

www.pollyiyer.com

I do believe that those who format books as a profession earn every cent they charge, and if I weren’t such a control freak, or stupid, I’d hire them.

By the time this blog posts, I may have an update. It’s Saturday, 5 o’clock. I’m on the way to the fridge for a beer—or maybe something stronger.

Monday, 5 o’clock. After all the fuss and phone calls, it turns out it wasn’t my CVV code that they insisted was the problem. It was the expiration date. It was still the same expiration date that was in their file, so I don’t know why it decided to kick back. I peeled the egg off my red face, entered the profile again with the updated expiration date, and made a dummy sale that Sara, the wonderful customer service rep, said she’d delete. Bingo. The sale went through. Sara couldn’t delete it. So she didn’t charge me for that book either. I’m feeling a little guilty getting five sample books for free. After all, it was really my fault. I offered to pay. She refused. I guess I’ll just have to live with Amazon’s generosity.

Time for my afternoon libation before I send the next proof to CreateSpace.
____________________


Polly is the author of Insight, Hooked, Murder Déjà Vu, and Mind Games

First the Cover

Tea in the Afternoon

How important is a cover in your decision to pick up or click on a book if you don't know the author's work? What else do you have to go on?

For me, the cover is number one for an unknown author. If I see an interesting or attractive cover, I'm likely to go the next step and read the blurb or description. If the cover is boring or illegible, I'll probably pass. Sometimes though, a particularly intriguing title will draw me in spite of the cover.

InSight

I want the title to be clear and the genre and tone of the book to be apparent. I often see thumbnail sizes first, and I want to see something other than a blob. An amorphous rectangle doesn't inspire me to click on it.

Here are three very different styles. See what you think. 

I've just redone my cover for Tea in the Afternoon because the first one was muddy. I like the color and what the new one suggests about the stories. What does it say to you?

My friend Polly Iyer designs her own covers. InSight may be my favorite. One glance tells me a lot about the kind of story it is. Even the thumbnail is clear. 

Fortune's Fool

I've included a recent award-winning cover, Fortune'sFool by Jane Sevier. April Martinez is the designer. To me, this one perfectly depicts the story.

What do these covers tell you? What do you look for in a cover? 

Love and Torture

At Amazon

This week my friend Polly Iyer, who writes romantic suspense, is my guest. She's the author of Murder Déjà Vu, InSight, and Hooked, with another soon to be released.

This is Valentine’s Day, so I’m going to write about love. And torture. You may not think those two things go hand-in-hand, but in my books, they do. My critique partners knew that when they started one of my stories, my characters would suffer unimaginable hardships. I couldn’t help it. I had to put them through hell before they found love at the end of the book. And I mean hell.

Psychologist Abby is blinded by her schizophrenic ex-husband before she meets Luke, the cop who lost his hearing on the job. Wealthy architect Reece spent fifteen years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit before meeting the ex-wife of the unscrupulous DA who wants to send him back to prison by any means he can. Tawny, the ex-call girl with a PhD in art history, is blackmailed into going back into the life by a hot sex-crime investigator. Former child psychic turned entertainer Diana is the target of a man who went to prison because of clues she unearthed as a child. Oh, and he’s psychic. Not only do these characters have to overcome their personal baggage, they have to dig themselves out of the holes others have created for them. Namely, me. Is it manipulation on my part? Sure. But they find love at the end—justification, in my mind, for their torture. See? I’m really not a bad person.

At Amazon

Since this is Valentine’s Day, I want to share another kind of love: personal love. Not my family. That goes without saying. No, my self-indulgent love of writing. My greatest joy at this point in my life is sitting in my home office and banging out twisted stories where my characters extricate themselves from one threatening situation after another. It took a long time before I was comfortable telling people I was a writer, and now I’m proclaiming it in black and white. I still have to force myself to think it, write it, and say it, fearful readers will find out I’m a fraud.

I know this is a “love” day, but along with the love of writing comes other things I don’t love, so forgive my digression. I don’t love the PR involved in getting my name out there. The blatant self-promotion makes me uncomfortable. I know it’s part of the package, but I don’t have to like it, nor do I do it well. There’s a fine line separating the right amount of promotion with overkill, and we’ve all seen that. It’s a turn-off, and a writer has to be careful not to cross the line. I like Facebook—it’s fun, and I’ve met some great people. I tweet, but I haven’t caught on to it yet to make much of a difference. It’s time-consuming, and I’d rather write. I don’t have a blog. Maybe I should, but I can’t imagine I have anything to say others haven’t said better. I’ve probably made my point with this blog post. I rest my case.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. Love someone tonight, even if it’s on a page of your book.

Polly Iyer was born on the coast of Massachusetts and now resides in the beautiful Piedmont region of South Carolina in an empty nest house with her husband and a drooling mutt named Max. She’s been an artist, importer, designer, and store owner, but writing is her passion. She’s a member of Mystery Writers of America, Romance Writers of America, and Sisters in Crime. Her stand-alone novels can be found on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. You can learn more about her at: http://PollyIyer.com

Murder Déjà Vu is free on Amazon Feb 14-16. Yes, that’s today. After wealthy architect Reece Daughtry spent fifteen years in prison for a murder he didn’t commit, someone’s framing him again. This time he won’t be railroaded. He goes underground to find the killer, or die trying.