Unless you use your author voice
as a narrator in your story, general wisdom says the narrative should be
written in the voice and through the eyes of the viewpoint character. The
reasoning behind this is first to avoid confusion for the reader. The
character doing the thinking should always be clear. Second, using a single POV
per scene should make the reader’s experience stronger and help generate
stronger feelings for the character.
Point of view gives us insight
into the character. Narrative should show us the world through the character’s
eyes and experience. Avoid showing things that character wouldn’t know or
notice. A child wouldn’t walk into a living room and describe the red silk
upholstery on the Louis XIV settee. A man who’s lived his life at sea is
unlikely to rattle off the names of the plants in someone’s garden, and if he
does, the reader needs an explanation: Sam,
still getting used to being on land again, paused to study the lush garden. He
recognized azaleas and bluebells, favorites in his mother’s yard, but most were
nameless. Colors rose and fell, red to pink to white and back again, much as
the swells of the sea. Okay, not great writing, but it shows how Sam sees
the garden and how it relates to his experience.
But if I wanted to show Sam
being familiar with the plants and landscape features, I’d give him some
background to explain it. Maybe he kept a worn book on gardening in his cabin
on the ship and dreamed of solid ground and an English cottage garden. Or his
mother owned a nursery and he remembered helping her plant similar flowers.
There are many ways to do it;
just keep in mind who the beholder is and how the scene will look through the
character’s eyes. What will be important or stand out? Tie the scene to the
character.
Can you think of any examples
where the narrative didn’t fit the character describing it? Do you do it? I
have to go back and check, and often I have to make changes. I find I was the beholder, not the character.
As Nathaniel Hawthorne said,
“Easy reading is damn hard writing.”
2 comments:
So many beginning writers 'head hop' within a scene and it does become confusing. There are writers who manage to do it well but it's tricky.
Vicki, I agree. I try not to do it because of that, but sometimes it slips through. My critique partner is usually quick to point it out though.
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