When does Stubborn Turn into Stupid?

At Amazon - soon to be in print

My friend Polly Iyer, author of four terrific suspense (with romantic elements :-) novels, is my guest today.

Some of you may have heard me say this before—I’ve been vocal enough in my frustration—but those “brilliant” techies who designed Word 2010 can only be described as sadists. I’ve just finished formatting three books for CreateSpace. I had help from my blog host—yes you, Ellis—who sat down with me in a restaurant halfway between our houses and showed me how to format the first book, step by step. We switched to Word 2003, a much more user-friendly program, because even a seasoned tech writer like Ellis thinks Word 2010 sucks. My lesson went well, one book done, so off I went to do book two. Easy, peasy, right?

Um, not when I got home. I resisted throwing the computer out the window at least a dozen times, but because I have a major character flaw called persistence, I forged ahead. (Okay, I sent the file to Ellis a couple of times to straighten out the section breaks and the pages. I admit it.) But I had another problem. My Photoshop program is on the computer with Word 2010, so I have to send the file to CreateSpace from that computer. Surprisingly, and after a lot of hair-pulling, I got the second book finished in Word 2003 on one computer and sent it to myself to open on the other. The formatting held.

Sound effects—heavenly music from above.

At Amazon - soon to be in print

I’m feeling good. Two books done. I sent them off. Proofs looked good, so I ordered a couple of each. I went through the whole process, clicked on Confirm Order. REJECTED. CreateSpace wouldn’t take my credit card. Huh? This is the same credit card they accepted three weeks before for my first sample. Same credit card that Amazon takes all the time.

I thought it might be Firefox, so I ran it through on Explorer. Same thing. Rejected. I called my credit card company. (They love me, by the way. I really don’t know why. I never pay a finance charge. But I digress.) So I went back to CreateSpace. They said it was my CVV code. Same code I used three weeks before. I told them I’ve never had so much trouble trying to give a company my money. They assured me they wanted my money.

We had a long telephone conversation. The customer service representative had a lovely, lilting English/Indian accent. I understood her. She understood me. She contacted the tech people while I was on the phone. She was really trying to help. They insisted it was my CVV code. I insisted it wasn’t. She said they’d get back to me.

So I worked on book three.

I don’t consider myself totally tech challenged; in fact, I’m really not bad for an old broad learning new tricks. I even do my own book covers on Photoshop, do my own website. But every time I thought I had the third book finished—this in Word 2003—I scrolled up and there were headings where they shouldn’t be, numbers on another line, pages disappearing when I scrolled—seriously. I thought I was seeing things. Now you see it, now you don’t.

Did that stop me from torturing myself? Not even close. I got what I thought was a good document, sent it to CS. Their proof looked a mess. Backward, in fact. Enough of Word, back to the sample books. I called CreateSpace again. Another lovely service rep. The credit card validating company is closed until Monday. She will get back to me. Meanwhile, she’s sending my samples free of charge. I didn’t argue.

www.pollyiyer.com

I do believe that those who format books as a profession earn every cent they charge, and if I weren’t such a control freak, or stupid, I’d hire them.

By the time this blog posts, I may have an update. It’s Saturday, 5 o’clock. I’m on the way to the fridge for a beer—or maybe something stronger.

Monday, 5 o’clock. After all the fuss and phone calls, it turns out it wasn’t my CVV code that they insisted was the problem. It was the expiration date. It was still the same expiration date that was in their file, so I don’t know why it decided to kick back. I peeled the egg off my red face, entered the profile again with the updated expiration date, and made a dummy sale that Sara, the wonderful customer service rep, said she’d delete. Bingo. The sale went through. Sara couldn’t delete it. So she didn’t charge me for that book either. I’m feeling a little guilty getting five sample books for free. After all, it was really my fault. I offered to pay. She refused. I guess I’ll just have to live with Amazon’s generosity.

Time for my afternoon libation before I send the next proof to CreateSpace.
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Polly is the author of Insight, Hooked, Murder Déjà Vu, and Mind Games