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| The Delivery Guy © Alberto Jorrin Rodriguez | Dreamstime.com |
Blackburn
Send in the Clown
Tips, baby. It’s all about tips. And so I wear this mask … sometimes.
Because it’s also about who answers that door. If a woman answers, she screams,
yanks the pizza from me, and slams the door. If a guy answers, he shakes my
hand, and tips me well. And if little kids are in the house? Oh, baby! Then,
whoever answers the door tips me well, because children love my mask.
So it’s also all about guessing who will be on the other
side of that door. Houses with kids are easy to spy—toys and other junk strewn
outside are sure giveaways. Now, if I could only master the kid-less households
...
But this delivery was pretty obvious. A two-pizza order in a
warehouse? Didn’t think I’d be disrupting a ladies’ bookclub meeting, right?
I was right! Four guys sitting around a rickety card table
playing poker. Cha-ching!!
Lovely
Joe’s brain cells were sparser than the pepperoni stingily
dotted on the pizzas he delivered. It was Joe’s first night working for Harry’s
Pizza, and customers were emailing to gripe about the foul smell of the pies he
delivered. He didn’t realize his dearth of brain cells was balanced by
tear-inducing body odor, and his technique of wedging pizza boxes against his
ribs exposed them to his potent armpits.
Why were customers upset? He reasoned it had to be the
medical mask he was ordered to wear. It scared them. “People who stick needles
in you wear those masks,” Joe thought. “I have a friendlier one from last
Halloween.”
Pleased with his
solution, Joe rang the bell for his first clown-masked delivery. A woman opened
the door, screamed, and fainted.
“Was it bad breath?”
Joe exhaled into his hand through the large hole in his mask
and sniffed. “I’ll chew gum before I make the next delivery.”
Vidler
This had to be the dumbest idea ever.
But Boyd, his best friend since kindergarten, insisted his
wife was having an affair. “Dianne thinks I’m out of town.” He handed Jason the
pizzas, a red shirt, and a mask. “She’ll open the door. Blame the mask on
COVID-19, and whoever’s with her will want to see it. And I’ll know who he is.”
This wouldn’t turn out well, but Jason couldn’t reasonably
refuse. Reluctantly he dressed and checked the mirror. His moustache showed
through the mouth. He sweated beneath the hot mask; Dianne would surely recognize
him. And Boyd would be watching from the car.
Dianne answered the doorbell. “I didn’t order piz— Jason?”
Laughing, she grabbed him and hugged. “Come in, quickly.”
“You?” Boyd bellowed from the car. “My best friend?”
Jason took a deep breath and turned. All he could see was
the gun in Boyd’s hand.
Bang.
About the Authors
Cindy Blackburn
Cindy Blackburn writes cozy mysteries because she thinks
grim reality is way overrated. When she's not thinking up unlikely plot twists
and ironing out the quirks and kinks of her lovable characters, Cindy is
feeding her fat cat Betty or taking long walks with her cute hubby John. A
native Vermonter who hates snow, Cindy divides her time between the south and
the north. Most of the year you'll find her in South Carolina. But come summer
she'll be on the porch of her lakeside shack in Vermont. Yep, it's a place very
similar to Lake Elizabeth. Cindy's favorite TV show is Young Sheldon, her
favorite movie is Moonstruck, and her favorite color is purple. Cindy dislikes
vacuuming, traffic, and lima beans.
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UNDISCLOSED
Welcome to Lake Elizabeth, Vermont, where Santa Claus is due
to arrive any day now, and Cassie Baxter is going nuts. Who wouldn't go nuts?
This is her first Christmas with her adopted son Truman, and she's determined
to make it memorable. But that human skull the kid found when he was searching
for Christmas decorations in the attic wasn't exactly part of the plan. And Joe
Wylie, Cassie's supposed boyfriend, isn't making life any easier during this
frantic week before the holiday either. Then there's Cassie's father, and her
best friend Bambi, and her other best friend Sarah, and all those crazy,
quirky, kooky neighbors that make Lake Elizabeth--Lake Elizabeth! Santa's sure
to have a jolly good time when he finally does come to town! Ho Ho Ho
Linda Lovely
Linda Lovely, the author of eight mystery/romantic thriller
titles, finds writing pure fiction isn’t a huge stretch given the years she’s
spent penning PR and ad copy. She hopes readers have half as much fun reading
her novels as she has researching and writing them. Amazing how much better she
sleeps after finding a really cool way to do away with fictional villains who
share personalities with real-life hypocrites and bullies. Her goal is to
deliver thrill-packed reads, while ensuring justice is served, laughter is
plentiful, and love triumphs. Though not perfect, her heroines and heroes are
smart and determined. A long-time member of Sisters in Crime, Lovely also
belongs to International Thriller Writers and Mystery Writers of America. When
not writing or reading, Lovely takes long walks with her husband, swims,
gardens, and plays tennis.
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BAD PICK
The plot for BAD PICK, Lovely’s latest mystery, is as
current as today's headlines. But you'll also find plenty of laughs and a
delightful side of romance. Vegan Brie Hooker lives with her feisty Aunt Eva at
Udderly Kidding Dairy, a hop, skip, and jump away from South Carolina’s Clemson
University. In BAD PICK, Brie’s fun farm outreach backfires when religious
extremists decide goat yoga is a form of devil worship. Picketers at Udderly’s gates soon become the
least of Brie’s troubles. Not only is she accused of murder, she worries the
death might actually be her fault. Danger mounts when an old family friend’s
visit ensnares Brie in a high-stakes feud between a U.S. Supreme Court nominee
and the woman determined to expose his secrets.
Ellis Vidler
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All Ellis’s stories have some degree of romance, a little
bad language, and a lot of suspense. The
McGuire women psychics and the Maleantes novels are available in audio, print,
or eBook and her short stories are available in eBook. http://www.facebook.com//EllisVidler.AuthorPage
PRIME TARGET
Suspense with a love story. When a New York ad exec’s
husband is murdered before her eyes, only her wits can save her from the long
reach of a ruthless crime lord.
Madeleine Schier heeds her husband's panicked call to come
home, only to witness his brutal murder by a crime boss and become a target
herself.
